Philadelphians are always hungry. We just feasted on our first Lombardi Trophy, and we’re definitely hungry for more. Same goes for when we take over other stadiums. We bring our hunger for victory – and their best eats. Here’s a list of what you should nom on while traveling for the Birds this season.
1. Jaguars/United Kingdom
Doner Kebab – You thought I was going to say Fish and Chips, didn’t you? Well I’m not a bloody wanker. I learned in Europe and especially in England that Kebab is the most important European cuisine that’s relatively missing in the United States. Every corner pizza shop in Europe doubles as a place to get great Kebab. When you finish downing pints for the night, you swing by your local Kebab joint, and they cut the lamb right off the spit and serve it to you right there. I can only imagine how great a Kebab will taste after an Eagles victory.
Brisket and BBQ – I won’t be suggesting a restaurant in Dallas, Texas. In Dallas, I suggest you find yourself a local barbecue. I was there for a week for a wedding and no restaurant served anything half as good as the food I ate in the backyards of ?Dallas Fans?. If you are lucky enough to attend such an event, let the hostess make you a plate and make sure you bring a big appetite and eat it all, otherwise you will offend her. Big time Runner-Up: Taco Cabana.
Chesapeake Blue Crabs – Step 1: Rent a house on the Chesapeake. Step 2: Grab the crab trap. Step 3: Stick it in the Chesapeake with some bait. Step 4: Go play Kan Jam. Step 5: Pull the trap out. Step 6: Take all them crabs and put them in a pot. Step 7: Boil those crabs. Step 8: Enjoy with butter. Step 9: Repeat. Step 10: Thank me later.
Biscuits and Gravy: Nashville Biscuit House – After returning home from the south, you’re going to realize that Philly breakfast has long been missing biscuits and gravy. Don’t worry about ordering your main meal because it’s coming with biscuits and gravy. The south loves to feed you, and they take pride in the fact we northerners come back home 20lbs heavier. A friend of mine who’s spent some years in Nashville suggests if you want the best biscuits and gravy that you get it from the place who’s named after the delicacy. I don’t disagree.
5. New Orleans
Shrimp Gumbo/Gumbo Shop – In a year, I will be on a bachelor party that will let me know if this is the best place to eat Shrimp Gumbo, but my buddies who have been all quite agree. As Bubba said about Shrimp: “You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.” But when you’re in New Orleans, eat as the Creoles do and enjoy yourself a nice bowl of Gumbo.
6. Los Angeles
Burger: In-N-Out – I’ve never been to Los Angeles, but I will say their cuisine is probably a flaming pile of poo, just like their people. LeBron and the Dodgers can go screw themselves and so can their restaurants. In-N-Out is the only thing anyone ever talks about when they come back from that waste of a town, so I just guess that’s what’s best to eat – ain’t that sad?
7. Tampa Bay
Shrimp and Crab Enchiladas – I’ve been to Tampa Bay a few times, and still there’s only one thing I remember eating that was out of this world: Shrimp and Crab Enchiladas. I don’t even remember where I ate them at, but it was more than 3 restaurants. Please, if you go, find the good ones and send the list to me because I will be heading there too.
8. New York
The Kitchen Sink/Met Life Stadium – Problem with the New York Giants is that they play in the the wasteland that is North Jersey. Just thinking about even putting food in my mouth while there disgusts me. The best eat while in their stadium has to be the Kitchen Sink. It’s everything including the kitchen sink, which is an overplayed joke. I hope the Giants continue to be crap like their food.
As Jason Kelce has said, “We’ve been a starving dog for 52 years and one bowl of food isn’t going to suffice the appetite. We’re still very much hungry. We’re still ready to get after it. And we’re vying to repeat this year.” Let’s eat, Birds fans!